To Uncle Ivan

(This is the letter I wrote for my Uncle Ivan who recently passed away.  I miss you so much.)

I would like to play a song that to me, is for Uncle Ivan.  But first I have a letter I would like to try and read for you.

How does one write a letter to someone when you don't believe they won't get to read it or that they're no longer with us, physically.  It is hard.  So hard, but I want to write this letter first to Uncle Ivan.

Uncle Ivan, Thankyou.  Thankyou for always always making us all laugh, every dinner especially Thanksgiving, we would all make sure we could sit near you, make sure we were near enough to hear your jokes and hilarious comments.  So calm, so happy and so funny.  From teaching us how to say some names in French to informative lessons in relationships.  You had it all covered.  Generous and kind do not even come close to explaining or describing the person you always were.  There was always something I loved so much about you, you were always happy, you didn't need big material goods to do that.  It was a Lucky in one hand, surrounded by amily, making everyone laugh and absolutely having a blast on the dance floor at every gathering.  (The odd time a cigarette, but hey we almost had a deal right :-)).  It seemed to be an attitude of just "Happy to be here".  One that I try to live by.

I am honestly still in disbelief, I wrote this sitting on a bus somewhere in the middle of Germany after 2 games that were won for you.  Could only get you one goal but it was a little tough to keep my heart in the game when it was so so much with you back on the Island.  And with Suzanne and Jeremy.  You have raised two of the kindest and most loving individuals I have ever met, so much to be proud of.

I want to make sure you know how much you affected everyone's lives and just how much we all loved and still love you.  Getting to see you every year at Thanksgiving and when you came up to Smithers for my parents 25th.  I remember clearly when my mom saw you, she nearly dropped to the floor.  Family is everything for her.  I know this is part of why this is so tough, you guys all have taught our generation of kids to truly appreciate and love our siblings and the family we are so lucky to have in our lives.  Thankyou for that lesson and thankyou for helping me understand how to enjoy life and appreciate every second of it.  Enjoy every last prawn, every chicken curry, every smile and every moment with those we are surrounded by that we love so much. 

I remember saying good-bye to you, not knowing it would be the last time, it was this past Thanksgiving at Aunty Murial's house.  Justin set me up on Skype so I could feel like I was there with you all.  A little unsure of how this skype/video/phone thing worked you came and talked to me for a bit, when I close my eyes now I can still see you standing there... so clearly.  Also lately, through the tears I see you dancing with my mom at Sandra's wedding, every image that comes into my mind and heart is of you having a good time somewhere with a smile on your face, enjoying and appreciating the simple things in life. 

How do you end a letter you never wanted to write.  Please just know how much I love you and we will miss you so so much.  Lighting the candle this year at Thatnksgiving is going to be the hardest it has ever been.  I love you and I know you are with Uncle Dale and you get to see your Mom and Dad again.  Say hi for us please.  Good-bye for now, think of you often and love you forever.  

Song Lyrics for Mark Perry's "A Song for Joe"

You must be mistaken, I have not been taken,

I've just been set free, to wander wherever I please.

I'll be in the mountains, and I'll be in the trees,

I'll be on the path we used to walk, and out of the blue my name will appear when you talk.

I'll be out there on the wind, and the rain will wash me clean.

And the sun will heat my back and I'll breathe easy and deep.

You must be mistaken, I have not been taken.

I've just been set free, to wander wherever I please.

I've just been set free to wander wherever I please.